How to Break Bad Relationship Patterns

As you grow up, children hold on to different experiences in life, and their processing methods of these experiences can change the way they behave in the future as they continue to mature. This can be due to the change in perspective. For example, when a family goes through a divorce, the older child may process it differently than the younger ones. This can be due to the very genetic makeup and the way their brain processes emotion and trauma. There is no algorithm to tell what experiences will create a more lasting and more damaging effect than others. However, the damage brought about by negative experiences in your life can lead to a morphed perspective on entering and engaging in relationships with others. It is necessary to point out these relationship patterns do not have to stem from something negative but something you may have been accustomed to by your family without knowing it has a lasting negative effect on your mental and physical health. Now, let’s learn how to break bad relationship patterns.

Understand Yourself

Often what happens when you begin to see a pattern of negative behavior in relationships is the thought that you are the problem. While there is some truth to this, there is no use dwelling on where to blame negativity in a lousy relationship. You need to understand the why behind the repetitive behavior in relationships—finding the why is often where a therapist can provide you the most support. By learning the why of your actions, you can more clearly see what your past or emotional state may be, drawing you to similar relationships with adverse outcomes. Once you know the why within yourself, you can educate yourself on first the vision of a healthy relationship with healthy challenges. As well as learning what you want differently for your future relationships to break yourself of these repetitive patterns. Lastly, you can go into your next relationship with the knowledge of how to curate a healthy relationship that meets both your physical and emotional needs.

Recognize the Warning Signs

Now that we have expressed the benefits of knowing yourself first and what that can do to break bad relationship patterns, we will detail how to process the warning signs you now know while being in a relationship. Knowing yourself, you recognized what you do not want in a relationship. This will help you to break lousy relationship patterns for yourself in the future. While these behaviors are now supposed to be flagged by yourself mentally, they may feel natural or seem good. Still, you have to remember the damage they cause in the long run as you continue to progress further in this relationship. When people recognize these warning signs, many tend to run from the relationship, but running from every negativity can also be damaging to yourself. Communicating with your partner first may allow you to work through these negative behaviors as a team and recognize them as bad for your relationship. But if growth is not made through your communication efforts, then it may be time to break away from this relationship and move on. Do not let yourself continue to hold hope or overcommunicate your needs to someone who does not understand what you are trying to communicate to make the necessary changes.

Check-in with Yourself

Our needs can be ever-changing as we continue to identify how to break bad relationship patterns. As we continue to evaluate our relationships, we can find new characteristics we do not want for future relationships. This is ok, and will constantly be changing until you find the right person. The most significant part of being in a relationship with someone else is knowing yourself first. Knowing yourself first allows you to communicate your needs better with others and evaluate how to meet your own needs mentally, physically, or emotionally. Getting to know yourself can be difficult because we may have to process specific experiences or emotions because of the walls. Here is where a therapist can assist you in diving deeper within yourself to process your feelings and emotions in a way that can be productive in seeking future relationships. Talking out loud also allows you to validate yourself of your senses to feel more comfortable processing them. We all come from different backgrounds, endure different experiences, good and bad, and hold on to certain perspectives of those experiences that shape us into who we are today. But that is only a mold of yourself, and nothing is set in stone. It takes identification, realization, and action to know yourself better and change the mold of yourself to be what you want to be. Start walking those steps today to break bad relationship patterns.