Steps to Manage Your Social Anxiety

Anxiety has many different connotations to people and can have differing complications in their life. Anxiety can have your body in fight or flight mode very quickly in certain situations. Social anxiety narrows into anxiety specifically in social settings. To experience social anxiety is to feel so inside your own head battling what to say and what others will think of you that you are not able to truly be yourself. This can be incredibly difficult to overcome, so much so, that we want to provide some steps to manage your social anxiety rather than wish it away completely.

Step One: Learning About Social Anxiety

Anxiety can be so isolating to the one that is experiencing it. What they may not understand is they are not alone and while it is a disability it is not one that has to be debilitating if you understand how to manage it. Many people function very well in society with anxiety. It is about surrounding yourself with the right people. There are some that do not understand continually doubting yourself or questioning your actions after the fact. But a person with anxiety works to protect and control every aspect of their life. What they need help with is understanding how to let go of what they cannot foresee or control.

Social anxiety is all this and more but focused on social situations, preferably ones where nobody knows you. When you are with people you know they typically understand how you function and what could be going through your head. When you are with people you do not know you cannot control what they are perceiving of you, and that can be your worst nightmare. You do not want to embarrass yourself or say something the wrong way. It is important to remember in any social setting that you are not alone in your feelings. Many people even in that same social setting could be feeling the same way.

Step Two: Knowing the Tools to Manage

Social anxiety has its own effects on different people and its important to understand how your social anxiety affects you. Get a journal and track your feelings over a period of time. Learn what situations make you feel anxious and what are the physical and mental symptoms of that anxiety. Once you can see this laid out on paper you can better understand what situation you could be in in the future that could cause a similar reaction. The goal is not to be avoiding these situations but managing your reaction to them.

It is important to practice tactics to manage your symptoms of your anxiety to see what works. Some of these can be breathing sequences in order to calm yourself. When you are in a high anxiety situation you can tense up and that can block a good amount of airflow to your brain and can increase your internal panic mode. Recognize the muscles that are tensing up and focus on them to increase relaxation. Social anxiety is a battle between yourself and your mind. Your mind is telling you that you will say something stupid and that no one will like you. But you need to remind yourself that is not true or that you love yourself and do not need their approval. Believing in your own worth is the biggest defense against your own anxieties.

Step Three: Being Consistent

Breathing, muscle relaxation, and positive thinking do help but not always at first. While these will help you manage your social anxiety, it takes time, and it is important to know what could make your anxiety worse in social settings. Keep in mind this can be different for everyone. Caffeine can increase feelings of anxiety because it increases your heart rate which in turn increase your muscle tension. Alcohol is a depressant and can have you buying into the self-doubt your anxiety carries in social settings. Exercise, water, and healthy eating allows you to exert and refuel your body naturally and teaches you to have more control over your perception of yourself, and the more positive you feel about yourself the less your anxiety can affect you.

Continuing to put yourself in situations where your social anxiety is triggered allows you to practice your management skills. The more you can get through these situations the better you will feel about interacting between them. Even when you do mispronounce a word or screw up in a meeting remind yourself that you are the only one that cares and be honest in the moment. Many people with anxiety see it as something to be ashamed of, but so many people experience it that if you just say “Oh, gosh I am not the best at public speaking” or “I figured I would make a mistake at some point.” Most of the time you will get a laugh because everyone has been where you are or felt that same way.

Step Four: Celebrate the Small Moments

Be proud of yourself for even the small things like getting through a conversation with a stranger. Or becoming a server at a restaurant where you talk to people every day. Maybe you nailed the presentation, with anxiety or not, that is worth celebrating. Anxiety is nothing to be ashamed of and you should not feel isolated in your feelings. Almost every person has felt the same or been in the same place as you. Learn to talk to your circle and ask for help or even compliments when you need a pick-me-up. We all have our struggles and what someone can help you with you may be able to provide guidance for them too! With these steps you can learn to manage your social anxiety.