How Can You Rebuild Your Relationship After Infidelity?

Infidelity can be the biggest test of a relationshi8p. There is no typical way infidelity occurs, and it can be different depending on the definition of your relationship. Infidelity could be based on an emotional connection outside the marriage without any physical intimacy or a relationship bound online. As partners, you should discuss the boundaries surrounding your relationship as a couple to be sure they are not crossed throughout your marriage. When infidelity occurs, how can you rebuild after? Relationships that have survived infidelity can become stronger and even more intimate with one another, but it takes time and effort on both sides.

What Might Contribute to Infidelity

There is always a reason behind infidelity. The reason is unique for each relationship. When you are young and in love, it is easy to be obsessed with one another and have all the time in the world for each other, but what often happens is as more responsibilities pile on throughout your life together, priorities seem to shift. It is simple to believe that the one that stands by your side will always be there, so you prioritize the company you are trying to grow with, the kids you are raising, or the pets you have taken on. Suddenly, that person that stands by your side begins to feel neglected. With the void lingering within themselves, they could seek to fill it in ways that cause infidelity.

Take Some Time

Once infidelity has been discovered, you can begin to experience the stages of grief. It is a traumatic experience that can change you both as individuals and as a couple. At first, you are in shock and almost in denial. Then you can feel like it was your fault, followed by anger for your partner, then realizing you will never be the same person again, and finally acceptance and reconstruction. You must give yourself that time to go through those emotions to fully relieve yourself of those thoughts and feelings tied to infidelity. Without fully experiencing these stages, there can be built-up resentments.

Seek Therapy Individually

Therapy can add many benefits to this healing process, and we ask you to take it in stages. Trauma like this to a relationship needs to be handled delicately to get your relationship back to a healthy point. By attending therapy on your own, you can be more vocal with less emotion than you may be able to when looking and talking to your spouse. We can be there to help guide you through the stages of emotion we listed above and be a constant reminder of the light at the end of the tunnel because we have gone through this with others before.

Seek Therapy Together

It’s important to go to therapy together because you both need to put the effort in to build your relationship. In these sessions, you are working to understand what contributed to the infidelity and learning what you could do differently to communicate your needs with one another. This is the process that can drive couples into a deeper and more intimate relationship because it is where you can act as your most raw and vulnerable self.

Restore Trust with One Another

This process can take the most time. Whether you continue seeking couples counseling or move to repair your relationship on your own, remember to do what you say you will do. Many people can make promises while in therapy, but not living by them outside of your session won’t show growth. There is no timeline to this process, and it can continue for long after the infidelity itself.