The Garden of Life
With spring starting to fill the air, some of us might be starting to think and plan our outdoor gardens. I am far from a gardener and planted my first garden last spring (so please forgive my naivety when using this analogy). However, I found a lot of joy in seeing our plants grow and change throughout the summer. While researching how to start a raised bed garden, I discovered how much planning and attention it takes to succeed in gardening. It reminded me of an analogy I have referenced with a few clients. Creating and maintaining our life like a garden. Start with a plan, use quality soil, plant the seeds, provide water/sunlight, and maintain the garden.
Planning for Your Life Garden – Set Intention & Set Yourself Up for Success
Before you plant anything, you want to consider the intentions of your garden. In your outdoor garden, you might consider if you want to prioritize being able to harvest vegetables to eat or enjoy the beauty in a rose garden. You might also look at your space and decide if you want to dig a garden bed or create a vertical garden. Take a moment and think about your overall intentions for your life path. Maybe you want to spend more time here and now or enhance your relationships with friends or a partner. Maybe you can only plant a small herb pot now but want a raised bed veggie garden long-term.
Along with setting the intention of your life garden, you need to consider what plants can be friends and which ones might be foes. For example, cucumbers can be planted next to lettuce, but you might get potato blight if you plant them near cucumbers. Think about what helps set you up for success. If you want to be more present throughout the day, you cannot stay up later. Those won't grow well together.
Quality Soil – Find Quality in Time & Effort
It is essential to understand the soil you need for your garden to thrive. The same is true for your life garden. Soil needs to provide the nutrients your plants need. You need to nourish your life garden with quality time and effort. Surround yourself with meaningful friends, art, music…whatever fortifies your day today.
Plant Your Seeds – Set Small Goals
Once you plant your seed in the soil, it doesn't pop up suddenly. Instead, you begin with a tiny seed that begins to slowly grow into its potential. You have to start small and give yourself the grace to cultivate a thriving garden. Set a SMART goal (small, measurable, achievable, relevant, & time-limited goal). If you want to spend more time in the present moment, pick one small step like taking five deep breaths when you wake up in the morning. Maybe you want to deepen your relationship with your partner. Set a goal to ask at least one curious question at dinner each evening. If you keep building, those small steps become progress, and you see your intention flourish before you know it.
Sunlight & Water – Self-Care
Just like your garden needs water and sunlight for those seeds to grow, you need self-care to continue to grow. Think about what you are doing to care for your needs each day. That might be taking a hot bath or calling a close friend for some. Whatever is your way to decompress and recharge, dedicate space for this. Nothing will grow in your garden without water and sunlight, and nothing will thrive in your life without self-care.
Maintenance – Keep Perspective
Once you know how you want your garden to function, it can be easy to get tunnel vision. What would happen if you focused on irradicating all the weeds by completely uprooting them? Without perspective, you might accidentally uproot other valued plants in the process. Similarly, we can get overwhelmed by our triggers or anxieties and devote all of our attention to eliminating these discomforts. However, we can become so focused on figuring out how to not feel so uncomfortable that we might miss out on what we are growing in the first place. When you notice a weed or an area of your plant to prune, take a pause, and remind yourself of the original intention. By balancing mindfulness and remembering the intentions of your garden, you can keep perspective. This perspective allows you to make choices of the maintenance you need and allow for acceptance that you will have to continue to maintain your life garden.
Unlike an outdoor garden, you can decide to cultivate your garden of life anytime. You can continue adding and editing your garden whenever your intentions may shift (which will DEFINITELY happen). As we evolve and change, so will the gardens. We want to grow. I hope you find joy in the process, even more than the outcome. Just like I did in our first outdoor garden last year.
If you need some help with your garden of life, a therapist can help you through the process.You don’t have to be in crisis to get a little help.Sometimes it is nice to have someone to brainstorm with.